There once a young girl who went by the name of Jennifer Scarr, such a nice name. She had nothing against that name, except perhaps how people made fun of her in elementary school for being "Scar's evil sister" - think Lion King. But then, just before her sophomore year in college she met a nice boy who also had a nice name - Matthew Bellue. She sort of fell incredibly in love with this person and before she could blink they were married! Awwwwwwwwwww. Yes, quite. And as is tradition, when a lady gets married she has the option of changing her name. Though Jennifer Scarr was quite fond of her maiden name, she decided it might be cool to have the same last name as her knight in shining armor, so after the wedding she sat in anticipation for her Marriage Certificate. Yes, for it was that one document that would pave the way to the changing of her name.
And she waited.....
and waited....
After two months her spider sense tingled. "Something is not right," she said to herself pensively. So Jennifer Scarr decided to call the County Clerks Office....and wouldn't you know it but there wasn't a number on the Internet that connected her to a live human being. Her cheeks turned pink with frustration and she pawed through the packet given to her when she and her knight bought the marriage license. (Yes this is a TWO step process gentle readers.) There amidst the packet's pages she discovered....an application. AGH. It appeared to this young girl that not only do you apply for a license, you also apply for a marriage certificate. and ALACK - the silly thing had to be notarized. So the agony ensued.
Jennifer Scarr and her knight of a different last name jumped through many hoops, got things signed, and sent that blasted thing on its way in hopes that one day these two love birds would share a last name......maybe.
they waited......
and waited.....
and waited....
FINALLY - a piece of mail from the County Clerk's office! Sweet bliss! Jennifer Scarr tore the letter open expecting to see a marriage certificate. Her stomach did flippy flops, and frustration burned up to her eye balls when she realized that they had not enclosed a check. Oh yes, gentle readers... you need to PAY for proof of marriage. Isn't life grand? With a huge sigh, Jennifer Scarr limply handed the bad news to her knight who said "No Problem!" and he left a check on the desk for Jennifer Scarr to sign, put in the envelope, and then into the mail the following day.
Disheartened but not defeated, Jennifer Scarr did so and sent the second attempt on its way. You are starting to get the picture here yes? There was MORE waiting, and constant checking of the bank account to see if the County Clerk has cashed the check to make the certificate. Nothing.
A few weeks later..... HUZZAH! Another letter from the County Clerk! Sure that this one would be THEE one, Jennifer Scarr ripped open the letter once more only to find bitter disappointment and slight embarrassment. Indeed, Jennifer Scarr had signed the check but for whatever reason she had flipped it over and signed it on the BACK! "Why? Why would I do that???" She thought to herself as she ripped that check into a billion pieces to ease her frustration. Sigh.
And now we come to the last ditch attempt of Jennifer Scarr. Double Checking every single detail of the contents of the letter she was about to send forth, she carefully put all contents into an envelope, addressed and stamped it and prayed one last tired prayer while she dropped the letter into that big blue box of doom.
Five months have passed since that beautiful, dream-like day when Jennifer Scarr married Matthew Bellue, and FINALLY, after all that mailing - remailing - and correctly signing checks, the allusive Certificate of Marriage arrived in the mail. It must be said that this piece of paper is nothing special - it's the marriage license photo copied onto pretty paper. Sigh. But at least she had the Certificate!!!
Jennifer Scarr set right to changing her name by going to appointments at the DMV, Social Security, and Bank. With that piece of paper, everything was quite easy!
And NOW it is with great pleasure that Jennifer Scarr is now Officially - Jennifer K. Bellue.
Sheesh.
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