Thoughts on Transitions...

As moving day looms ever nearer, my mind gets caught up on how in the world do we transition from one place to the next?

Questions like - when's a good time to transition out of working with my current jr. high group? What's it gonna be like not having a job for a few months? Finding a place to live.... Moving expenses.... leaving my family, dear friends, ULV theatre, and 75 degree weather. Finding a new job, adjusting to new weather, new place, new school....

I'm pretty sure that God made me for transitions. That it's like in my blood or something. I seem to end up in the youth group that's between youth pastors, or helping someone settle into a new youth group, I'm drawn to Jr. High kids (the biggest transitioners in the world, twix elementary school and high school), I end up at a theatre with transitioning technical directors. And it seems like once the transitions are over, God moves me on to something else. My life has been anything but a constant. True story.

So how do you deal with living in transition? If you know you're only going to be somewhere for a short time, how do you handle that time and how much do you invest? My Philosophy is - go all in, all the time. Love each and ever person you encounter completely, because they deserve it. Serve the people around you. Bring a light and a smile into the room that stays behind when you have to leave. Invest in friendships, mentor those who need it, and when possible - go the extra mile to make things right. I'm soooo not saying I'm perfect or that I do stick to this philosophy all the time, but I try for it. I didn't come up with this philosophy, observing Jesus's life led me to these conclusions. Depending on what you believe, Jesus either knew he was going to die or he didn't. I'm pretty sure that at some point Jesus figured it out, probably early in his ministry, that he only had 3 years and not 30 to teach his message....and then he gave it everything he had until he had to leave. He didn't pull back, or distance himself from his disciples. He didn't do less, or love less because he knew his time was short. He went all in. And humanity is better for it. I'm better for it.

Knowing that about Jesus, continues to push me to give what I can while I'm here to give it.

Karuna

I am currently taking a class at school on the eastern world religions, and I gotta say there are quite a few of them. The professor is challenging my brain to take in an overload of information, and I keep counting my lucky stars that I am at least familiar with most of the religions we're studying so I'm not completely in the dark like some of my classmates. The biggest bummer is that this class is FIVE hours long. Yep you read me right... FIVE. From 5:00 to 10:00 every Monday night. Jeepers.

Last night in class we began to look at Buddhism. Due to my parents recent trip to Japan and their keen interest in the religion, I do have a kind of understanding regarding the Buddha and his teachings. As the professor was telling us the story of Buddha's life and his goals, I skipped ahead and re-read again the 4 Noble Truths. These are the basics of Buddhist belief. Though I read them in high school and have had to memorize them for many a test, the explanation in my text book struck me differently this time. The first noble truth is "All life is suffering." Meaning that the majority of life is met with suffering, as even the greatest pleasures do not last. Kind of depressing, huh? That's where I thought this truth ended... but it doesn't end there. It continues with a purpose. Buddhists believe that though one cannot complete remove suffering from the life of another they can employ compassion (Karuna) and kindness (Maiti) to alleviate the pain for a little while. I found this to be quite a beautiful act of service.

My whole life I've wanted to change the world, fight injustice, be the super hero and help where it was needed most. A pastor once told me, "I was kind of afraid of you. You are a revolutionary." But the truth I have come to terms with is the truth that I cannot save the world. No matter how hard I try to rid the world of pain, anger, war, famine, and heartache I can't do it. And it is no longer my mission.

I want to employ karuna and maiti, to alleviate the pain for a little while. I want my home to be a place where people can come in heartbroken and leave feeling a little lighter. If I can't solve your problem, at least I can bless you with love, compassion, a hug, and a smile.

See? Jesus can even speak to us through Buddhism. Fancy that. ;0)

Moutains of Love,
Jen

Proverbs 21:3

"Clean living before God and justice with our neighbors mean far more to God than religious performance."~ Proverbs 21:3 

I am taking a class this semester called Contemporary Themes in Christian Thought with Dr. Dan Campana. Based on the books assigned for the course as well as the first few lectures, I believe I am about to get a crash course in Liberation Theology.  
Liberation Theology, in its simplest form, is basically action over intellect. The people behind these kinds of systematic theologies love to get out of the church and help meet the needs of the poor, the orphans, widows, unemployed, the list goes on. I guess another way to simply phrase liberation theology is meeting the needs of the people before the preaching starts. To introduce us to this theory, Dr. C showed us a few clips from the movie, Sister Act. I LOVE this movie, and so to watch it in a Christian thought class was totally awesome. The clips he chose to show were that of the nuns getting out into the community and making friends with the 'hood'. This move out into the community deeply troubles the Reverend Mother, played by Dame Maggie Smith. Dr. C likened Reverend Mother to the tradition thinking of the institutional church, and Whoopie Goldberg's character to the "get out there and do something" mindset that Jesus had. It was quite a delightful class.
The verse above came up at my Jr. High group last wednesday. The Pastor was encouraging the kids to speak up for those other kids at school who are getting emotionally shattered each day by those classic teenage bullies. For me, that verse struck a new chord... 
How did religion get to be so heady? ya know? Sit in a classroom and learn the doctrines, the creeds, figure out what you believe and then think about it some more. Didn't Paul say it was as simple as believing in Jesus as our savior? And if it's THAT simple, shouldn't we be sharing that instead of hoarding it up in our studies and classrooms? And yet differing systematic theologies are fascinating to me...
Last Friday, I had the pleasure of listening to Brother Cornel West speak at my school. This man blew my mind and I gotta admit, he was quite inspiring. 
An existential Christian, West shared his wisdom about the current state of our world. He values each culture for the insights it brings to the world, indigenous, black, Spanish, European, Australian, you name it. He spoke in such a way that I left the auditorium with chills running down my spine and a new role model. Here was a political activist, unafraid to speak his mind, aware of the impoverished condition of our country (both physically and spiritually) and he proclaims Jesus Christ as the motivator for his mission. Jesus is his center, and I must say it was SO refreshing to hear someone speak who thought like me. Furthermore, the guy got out there and did something. He teaches at Princeton, teaches kids to think outside their box. And what a life this man has led...
I'm currently reading through his auto-biography, Brother West: Living and Loving Out Loud. This book is a challenge to put down.... I'll let you know how it turns out. ;0)

Just Around the Corner

2-3-2011

I would like to start this post by proclaiming for myself and for those reading, that God is in control.
Matt and I got married less then a month ago and that day sparked the course for so much change in my life personally, and our life as a niave married couple...haha.
Soon I will be graduating from the University of LaVerne and we will be moving into the vast unknown that is Indiana so that I can go to Bethany Seminary in the fall. SO much needs to happen yet in order for that move to take place including but  not limited too, finding a place to live and finding a job for Matthew. Those are like the two biggest things...haha. It's a scary thought to move 3000 miles away from family and friends - from everything familier, it's scary to go to a school I've only visited once and live in a town who's way of life is completely foreign compared to my upbringing in Southern CA.

((By the by, I am sometimes amazed at Matt's trust in me and the calling God's placed on my life. He's willing to move to place he's never been before and trust me to a school of which he's only seen the website and few pictures. I cannot stress how blessed I am to have such a supportive and trusting husband as my best friend.)) 

How in the world did God manage to call me to Indiana??? of all places. Let me tell you friends, sometimes I wonder. I think it's safe to say that Matt and I are excited for this change, and at the same time kinda nervous. At times I am uncertain of my journey, as there are many wonderful seminaries right here in my home town that would offer me a mind-blowing education. It's tempting, but there's this still small voice that softly says, "That's not for you, daughter."
As I've pondered these things, I've come to realize that God loves to push me out of my comfort zone and expand my understanding of how other people live. If we stayed in CA, we'd be living in our comfort zone around the people and places that we love. This wouldn't be a bad thing, but I believe that sometimes in order to see what God has planned, you gotta shake things up a little.
We are going to miss California. The people, the beach, the weather, disneyland...haha - but I know in my heart God's got something big planned for our lives in Indiana and beyond.
Each of us in on a different path, we all have different journeys. Our path is leading us away into the exciting unknown. :0)

Suddenly June seems really, really near....

With love and hope,
Jen Bellue

A Changing Life

Howdy!

My summer is drawing to a close, but I feel once again that it's just another beginning. I'd like to think that my life is full of beginnings rather than endings - don't you? When you think about something ending as the beginning to something else, it seems more positive and happy. So there you go, it's getting close to the beginning!!!

Looking back on this summer, I can say that I have learned a LOT. Strangely enough, what initially was a push out of my comfort zone became my exact comfort zone. Going into the summer I was super nervous about trying to keep afloat a whole Jr. High ministry. Luckily, it came already planned with pool parties, movies, and sunday school galore. I was a little anxious about being the only person in charge, but after the first few experiences I found out that I wasn't half bad at it. haha. Being placed into a leadership position I wasn't exactly expecting, gave me loads of confidence in my own leadership skills. It's one thing to have a whole bunch of people who love you tell you you're a born leader, it's another to have a whole bunch of kids (who are normally squirrly and throwing paper airplanes) listen to you giving directions or talking about Jesus.

And this confidence expands beyond ministry to my very own regular mundane life (haha) as I enter into my (can you believe it?) SENIOR year of college. For quite awhile I've been a theatre kid. I've acted in plays since my 8th grade year at Ramona Middle School, and I have loved every bit of it. When I got to college, I'd had enough people tell me i was a "natural" that I figured I'd major in it. hahaha.
But my life is changing, my passions are changing, and who I want to be is changing. I love change. It's scary for me and exhilarating at the same time. But I think this summer has given me the confidence to own who I am becoming.

This next year, though I am remaining a theatre major, I will not be acting in the mainstage shows. Instead, I'll be focusing my time on my dear Jr. High girls, and helping Scott continue what I have come to know as an awesome ministry. I want to keep learning about this stuff and seminary is too far away! hahaha. This decision was placed before me a few months back, it was a challenge which God gave to me with a smile, I'm sure. I've wrestled with it, talked myself back and forth and into stitches....and every time I've heard that familiar fatherly voice pulling me into the lives of these kids. I can't help but love every single thing about them! Every single thing. hahaha. Where most people roll their eyes over this age group, I find myself laughing and loving the quirks. Such a strange spiritual gift - Jr. High Ministry. hahaha. But I can't deny this part of my spirit, as much as theatre has meant to me these past years - my heart is taking what the stage taught me and moving on.
So here's to a new beginning!!!!!!

Speaking of beginnings -
A wedding is coming! YIKES! I'm so excited. My bridesmaids are all fitted and dresses are on their way! I've had a meeting with a super cool decorations lady by the name of Debbie, and she's helping me decorate the sanctuary and reception hall. I've started keeping an eye out for stuff like that... Matt and I are super close to booking our honeymoon (which for some reason makes all this feel way more real than it did before) and we are possibly going to look for a wedding band for Matt tomorrow! (He's an overachiever and already has mine.)
Also looking forward to hand making the invitations! They are going to be fun!
*deep breath*
I'm so excited, I get carried away. I cannot wait to be married to this amazing man! GAH! I'm so totally excited. Did I mention he's amazing? Cause he is.

Hope this finds everyone smiling, well, and possibly giggling!
With all kinds of love,
Jen

It's More Like Falling In Love....

Hello Familia and Amigos! (thought I'd switch it up this time.)

I hope this blog finds you abounding in joy and love, cause you deserve nothing less. This last week for me has been rather calm compared to the week of VBS craziness. It's kind of awesome to have something to talk about that almost everyone in your group can relate to. To be able to say, "Remember that one time..." and have everyone laugh or squirm depending on the memory. It's events like VBS, camp, and other kinds of service projects that bring a group of kids together and I love it.

So there is this radio station I occasionally listen to out here in the west called Air1. They are kind of all over the US, but I didn't discover them until I got to La Verne...anyway - I was listening to this radio whilst getting ready for the day and this song happened to be playing -

Jason Gray - More Like Falling in Love From the album Everything Sad Is Coming Untrue

Give me rules
I will break them
Give me lines
I will cross them
I need more than a truth to believe
I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes
To sweep me off my feet
It ought to be

(CHORUS)
More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

Give me words
I'll misuse them
Obligations
I'll misplace them
'Cause all religion ever made of me Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet It never set me free
It's gotta be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

It's like I'm falling in love, love, love
Deeper and deeper
It was love that made Me a believer
In more than a name, a faith, a creed
Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me
It's gotta be

More like falling in love
Than something to believe in
More like losing my heart
Than giving my allegiance
Caught up, called out
Come take a look at me now
It's like I'm falling, oh
It's like I'm falling in love

It's songs like these that catch the truth in me and make me think a little deeper about how I came to be. I grew up solidly in 'Religion' and discovered early on that people who didn't go to church got turned off by that word: "Religion." It's a word that holds a lot of negativity for a lot of people, it never did for me - but because it has for others I've sought to figure out why. I think that negativity comes from certain experiences people have had in which a church as a whole, or a church member has told them everything that was wrong with them. That they were a bad person, and there was nothing they could do to change it except set up all these rules to keep them from sinning. The New Guy never finds Jesus for all Religion. We get caught up in the rules and routine, sometimes we forget that religion is a relationship. Jesus longs for relationship, not a to-do list of i love yous. Living like Jesus has to be more like falling in love.
I was 15 when I finally figured out that Jesus loved me. I mean I suspected it before, but i finally believed it when I was 15. Thinking back to that year, I was super giddy and lovey - wanted to be friends with everybody and I even wrote God love notes. Yep, I was fallin' in love. As the initial giddy-ness faded, I needed to show God I loved him instead of telling him all the time. Kind of like, after you've been a relationship a while just saying "i love you" doesn't always cut it, the other person wants to know it and sometimes the things you do speaks louder than the things you say. My way became encouraging those around me, and after a while - Jr. High Ministry.
Though i was taught the bible my entire life, was taught religion, and for the most part lived by it - I didn't start living like I was Loved until Jesus and I clicked. Then all the service became meaningful, thought Jr. High ministry is tough sometimes - I want to do it, and being in love with Jesus keeps me wanting to be there for these kids. I guess it's how I say 'I love you.'

One more anecdote before I sign off - we were all the JH pool party last night and I got the opportunity to talk to the Mom hosting us for a while. She is amazing, i have so much respect for Moms who long to teach their kids about Jesus and who are looking for new ways to do so. She says "I love you Jesus" by getting involved in the spiritual lives of her kids. That is a gift her boys won't fully understand until they are "all growed up" but they'll appreciate it forever. She definitely made it into the collage of mothers I look up to. :0)

Well I'm off to another weekend of wonderful awesomeness. Got an email yesterday that told me my wedding dress came in. 0_0 3 months my booty! Ah well... at least that's done and I don't have to worry about it! Bridesmaids dresses are all picked out, just one more lovely girl to get fitted and the order's off. The wedding gets steadily more real every day. GAH.

Have a wonderful weekend and know that I love you,
Jen

Holding Down the Fort!

Hello Family and Friends,

I hope this blog finds you pleasant, rested, and smiling! The reason I entitled this post "Holding Down the Fort" is because Scott Boss - JH Mentor extraordinaire, is in West Virginia with a group of High Schoolers doing a missions trip! That's right! I'm in charge! Buwahahahahahahaha. *sigh* Sadly I'm too responsible to actually take advantage of this moment. ;0) I've actually been discovering that most of the work I've been doing has been out of the office types of work. I think I might try organizing Scott's desk while he's away... it might help...it might hinder. Who knows? Could be fun.

p.s. could anyone tell me where the saying "Holding Down the Fort" came from? Just a random question.

Well last week was a jam packed crazy week full of crazy craziness. and I LOVED it! VBS was held everyday from 9 to 1, and we then held VBS After Hours at various awesome places around Glendora.

Final Tally =
Taco Tuesday (Del Taco) - 93 kids, 336 tacos consumed.
Pack Out In-N-Out - 115 kids
Golden Spoon Take-Over - 83 kids
Night Game "Sponge King" - 135ish kids

Needless to say, it was pretty EPIC. The best story comes from Thursday's Golden Spoon Takeover. At 7:00pm it started thundering and we saw lightening. I was all - Dude this is California, in JULY. Then it rained. It rained in July, and it was so awesome. Kids ate frozen yogurt and played in the rain. I was reminded of our time in the Philippines a few summers ago...it rained almost every other day and it was hot! haha. It was a nice reminder, a comfort to think about the people we met there and the work of the Lord that's continuing even today.
After Last week's epic-ness, we're taking it easy this week on the ministry front. Doing a Pool Party on Wednesday and that's about it! Woot woot!

Sunday School has been an interesting beast to tackle. Leaders, as I've mentioned before, are scare over the summer. There was one sunday where it was me and 25 Jr. Highers for 25 minutes before my friend Hillary bounced heroically into the room to save my life. hahaha. I have a new respect for Jr. High Teachers, to say the least. Depending on who's in the group on Sunday it's either easy to get through the lesson...or it's easier to give up and play tag. Such is Jr. High ministry. I'm a firm believer that the curriculum should come second to relationships. So if they kids wanna talk about something, or just need some time to hang out - that's just as fun for me as teaching a pre-planned lesson. Kids learn by observation and by asking questions, if we don't give them these kinds of opportunities they aren't being challenged to grow. Hahaha, I say "Kids" like I'm not still a Kid myself silly Jen...I guess it would be better to say that: People (all kinds) learn by observation and by asking questions. Some of these Jr. Highers are asking questions Socrates wrestled with. I love it.

I suppose I'm just rambling now - but whilst I ramble, might as well mention that I've been reading the Anne of Green Gables series. How many people out there remember those? Heck yes, they are amazing. For those of you unfamiliar with these books, they are the story of an orphan girl taken on accident to a family who wanted a boy. They end up keeping her, and the stories follow Anne through school, friendship, love, and loss - her imagination prevailing the whole way. Anne and myself are twins souls across fiction. Her imagination is just as big as mine, she has a quick temper that I used to be able to call my own, and a fierce love of kids and peers. I love those books...they are addicting. What I most love about Anne is her understanding of God and Heaven, and the contrast it provides in the narrow minded town of Avonlea. At one point in her childhood - Anne looks at a picture of Jesus, and says, "I don't think this is what the Lord should look like." Her guardian is aghast at her blasphemy and says, "Of course that's how the Lord is supposed to look." Anne looks all pensive and says, "Shouldn't he be smiling?"
I also love when she is trying to explain Heaven to a little boy who thinks Heaven is in the attic because when he asked where it was his cousin pointed to the ceiling and said, "Up there." Anne corrects this by saying that heaven is a place where you can eat 10 kinds of icecream and wear whatever you want, a place to be happy all the time, and that it certainly wasn't in the attic.
Though she is a fictional character, she's a role model of mine. hahahaha. I'm pretty sure if she were real, we'd be extremely close friends. This is probably why I like reading about her life!! Hahahaha. What can I say? We all have our guilty pleasures.

On the Wedding Front -
Not much has been accomplished or changed since my last blog. But I am super excited for next monday cause we are going for Bridesmaids dresses! GAH! I'm so excited. I love dress shopping, especially for girls I love so dearly!
Oh yes, and my dear little cousin Hailey Haldeman is gonna be our flower girl! She's basically the cutest thing on the planet. And I love her. She'll be an absolute darling. :0)

Well I believe that's about all for now. It's weird to think that school starts up again in about a month... when did that happen? I have to start thinking about Books, and tests, and...and... cafeteria food. Yuckie. hahaha. Only one more first day of college!

Love you all, and I pray lots of peace and rest and love into your life!
Love,
Jen